SUMMERRRRR!!!!

SUMMERRRRRR!!!! – - – - Named after countless facebook photo albums filled with photos of people and their friends having an AWESOME time drinking out till late, staying up all night, smoking weed and being AWESOME and leading us to believe that they never sleep, never eat non-BBQ’d food, never drink tea and that the rain doesn’t ever stop them in their pursuit of absolute-AWESOME!.

 I’m sat in the kitchen of my parents house alone whilst they’ve gone on a day out, all my mates are at work and I am unemployed listening to Swedish House Mafia at half two in the afternoon, hanging on the the time when I too believed in a state of AWESOME.

 Aptly ”Lost My Way” – Plan B has just come on, summing up more accurately my stagnant state of existence   verging on madness. My days are spent filling the time between meals with minimally stimulating activity; reading, guitar, dog walking, online shopping, and watching documentaries on BBC iPlayer. A trip to the super-market is a potential high-light.

 At the beggining of summer I felt positive about activities including, zumba, yoga, vegetarianism, tanning, parties captured in faded Polaroid, (or succumbing to instergam……) all fitting in nicely around my morning runs and full-time work.

 Instead I have been drowning my lazy-arsed sorrows with occasional visits to SMACK (Leamington Spa) ending usually in a perhaps not-so-tactical  chunder. On one occasion in fact just lying in the gutter outside the back of tesco’s crying in my own vomit, in the rain. (and who said Britain has a problem with teen binge drinking?!)

 I have come to realise that a lot of my close buddies are having a very different time of it. They’re going out to take the edge of work, spending the morning in bed because they had an 11 hour shift the day before or escaping to the pub for a game of pool away from home or work. Whereas: I go out, firstly for laughs, but also with an underlying intention that the next day I will be obliterated and able to sleep it off, spend the   morning in bed because there’s nothing really for me to get up for, and going to the pub is an absolute highlight to bother friends trying to relax away from home or work.

One day last week I looked at the oven clock to see
-Ohh, good its 8pm,
-what happens at 8pm? Is what my mother asks
-Its just means today is almost over.

 PLEASE EMPLOY ME

 It’s not that I’m a layabout. I’ve applied to dozens of jobs and had several interviews, but have also received several dozen replies saying something along the lines of “Thank you for your interest, we apologise, but we are not going to take your application any further at this time. Good luck in your future job searching.”

 And it is always raining.